by Gabe Stoll

A sailor with a big fucking orange head found himself on shore leave one fall evening. The sailor had been out to sea for quite some time. His loins burned with a tingle of hormones that had bred serial rapists from nuns. Sadly, the sailor with the big fucking orange head had very little money. He wandered around the port town looking for some pink for very little green and was not having much luck. The cost of a BJ, HJ, and any other kind of J had sky-rocketted while he had been out to sea. Stumbling into a questionable part of town he came across a very nasty looking whore-house.

The sailor desperate at this point had reduced himself to begging the madame for help.

"Please god, here are all of my earthly possessions, get my dick wet." The sailor stood shaking and sweating with longing for the poon-tang.

"Well, I'm sure we can work something out." The madame said looking at the measley sum of money the sailor with the big fucking orange head had clutched in his shaking hands.

The madame led the sailor down a long corridor to the room at the very end of the hallway.

Entering the room the sailor with a big fucking orange head spotted his whore with a wooden eye.

The eye set him off, at first, having never seen such a pathetic whore, but then his crotch barked at him.

"So what's the deal here?"

"Well honey, I take out the wooden eye and you can do your business in there." she said looking at the big orange head.

"My goodness, well you get what you pay for, I suppose." The sailor said as undid his trousers.

"Hold on one second though mister. Would you mind terribly telling me what is the deal with your fucking big orange head?" starring at him with her only eye.

"I suppose it does deserve some explanation." The sailor lit up a cigarette and continued "So a few years back I was stuck in a dessert after a nasty plane wreck, I was the only survivor. Crawling through the sands, one inch from death, I came across a magic lamp. without hesitation i rubbed on it, and rubbed on it, and rubbed on it, and sure enough a fucking genie popped out of the lamp.

'Master, I grant you three wishes. What is your first wish?' I couldn't believe it. I figured it was some heat stroke hallucination but I gave it a shot and said the first thing that came to mind.

'I want to be in a pool filled with hotdogs.' and poof I was casually floating in a cool pool filled with hot dogs. and I'm like 'Holy Shit I'm in a pool filled with hot dogs!' and then I'm all like 'Genie, I want to sail all of the mighty seas!' and poof I'm a fucking sailor on a shit russian vessel. Then the genie demanded

'What is your final wish?'

'Well shit, I dunno. Give me a big fucking orange head.' poof sure enough I got a big fucking orange head."

The whore shrugged her shoulders "Well okay, do you want to do this then."

"Of course." and the hooker took out her wooden eye and the sailor with the big fucking orange head played some in and out with his cock and her soft eye socket. With a few more sweaty thrust the sailor busted his nut.

"Holy shit that was great!" He proclaimed in victory for his cock and balls. "The next time I'm in town could you keep an eye out for me?" and the hooker with a grin responded "Would I?"